Is this real life?: Biggie Smolls

Two weeks ago David's sweet mom offered to watch all three kids for us so we could go to lunch and get a car wash.

Accustomed to being a huge beast of a pregnant lady, I suddenly felt as svelte as Gisele in my one-week post-partum body. Being one week post-partum, however, my uterus was still large enough to contain Gisele, and I definitely looked like it. As we waited for our car to finish getting all fancied up, a nice man in his 60s looked at my stomach and said, "Boy or girl?"

Not wanting to embarrass both of us by telling this well-meaning idiot that I was NOT pregnant, I simply smiled and responded, "It's a boy!" I hoped he would stop asking questions so I didn't have to elaborate, but he persisted.

"So, when are you due?" he asked.

Hmm...technically I wasn't yet due for another two weeks even though Carter had been born already. So I told him: "Um. I'm actually due January 25th."

He raised his eyebrows, "You're kidding! You look amazing! A lot of women are huge when they are nine months pregnant. Not you. Wow."

"Aren't I just so teensy?!" I enthusiastically agreed. David tried not to choke on his laughter as he shuffled his waddling wife out of the waiting area to prevent me from inflicting bodily injury on this poor, unsuspecting fool.

As if this wasn't enough, for the first few days after I came home from the hospital, Selah said (completely innocently), "Mommy, turn around, I want to see if your tummy is big or small." I turned around and she said, "Nope, it's still big."

What's with all the haterade everyone has been drinking?

Oh, well. The comments are worth it when I get to cuddle my sweet baby boy...but I reserve the right to take that back if someone asks me if I'm pregnant with multiples.